Waldorf is a Cool School

I have just looked into Waldorf schools recently after having discovered it a few years ago. I went to the library and borrowed all the books they had on that particular subject, and as I read through the first book, I realized that our lifestyle parallels the way things are taught in those schools. Waldorf is a growing private school, spreading internationally. These schools are a little pricey, but you can qualify for up to 50% off and the education is very unique.

Waldorf is all about nurturing children throughout the grades toward their ultimate freedom as they go off into the world, which is the theme of 12th grade (Freedom). They are constantly doing hands-on activities with beeswax sculpting and art and wood-working and gardening and..... Well it varies from grade to grade precisely what they are ready for at that point in their physical, emotional, spiritual, and mental development. They do a lot of work with literature, hands-on math and science, music, handi-work, and of course different art forms. In Kindergarten, children are focused on color and imitation drawing, and by the upper grades, children have extremely excellent art skills to be used in all subjects. Instead of labeling a handout, they draw everything and design the format. What a better way to retain the form of something in chemisty or physics or ancient history, than to actually create the scene or object in great detail from within you own mind in accordance to what you have learned.

Children learn knitting (stimulates intellectual development), constantly working with others, Spanish and German, drama (used as a tool for learning, literacy (not just basic reading), eurythmy (expressive dance - both curative/therapuetic and artistic), humanism... the list goes on.

Kindergarteners start their days off with creative free play, which simulates the world around him/her. Putting toys away helps children care for their environment and everything/one it it. Every day songs are sung, including nature selections, which help children build a natural relationship with nature. Students learn to paint and bake, crayon pictures of rainbows, and model with brightly colored beeswax. Essentially, the young child imitates everything in his environment including his/her teacher. Their toys, their books, the color of the room and clothing, the type of food, the speech they hear, the songs they sing - these are all critical to a love of learning and an appretiation for art and beauty. Beyond that, children develop a feeling of love and warmth with their peers and their teacher in their home-like classroom. They form a home away from home, a sort of a second family. They will all be together, teacher included, through eighth grade. So much more is taught as the grades progress, but it is just too much to get into each individual grade.

By eighth grade, children have a well-rounded view of human life and the universe as a whole. Elementary school gives children an understanding of humanity and the world they live in, engaging their hearts and wills, as well as their minds. Eighth grade brings this all to a new peak. History is intensly studied from the industrial revolution to the present, focusing on outstanding people as Lincoln, Jefferson, Edison in American history and great figures like Ghandi, Albert Schweizer, MLK and others from the 20th century. Geography and geology are heavily tied in to curriculum, as well. Physics lessons are tied into those historical and geographical surveys. Also, thermodynamics, acoustics, mechanics, climate, electricity, magnetism, hydraulics, aerodynamics, and meteorology and ecology are included, too. Chemistry is also touched on. Organic chemistry and the identifying of fats, sugars, proteins, and starches are both included. Mathematics works with the importance of practical applications of arithmetic, algebra, and geometry. Human physiology is closely looked at, between the muscular system, skeletal system, and the senses. Literature focuses on human freedom in short essays, letters and shakespearean drama. Foreign language continues and music takes up Elizabethan music, American music, and symphonic form. Eurythmy compliments other studies through exploration of poems of contrasting moods. Painting is now concerned with highlights and shadows. Machine sewing, darning, artistic hand-sewing, soapstone carving, and carpentry of big projects are all inlcuded in the eighth year.

Twelfth grade studies the following in English: Literature, such as Russian lit, Emerson, Goethe's Faust, contemporary novels, and a review of English skills, word usage, vocabulary, creative writing, independent literature, honors program. The continue the sudy of German and Spanish. Mathematics encompasses trigonometry, analytical geometry, business math, and advanced math topics. Science studies chemistry and physics (optics, color theory and quantam physics), computer science, biology (zoology, evolution). US History covers the development of 19th and 20th century economic theory from the rise of mercantilism til now. World history dives into architecture, modern art, Third World nations, and symptomotology. Music entails performing choir, instruments, performing orchestra, honors program. Arts/crafts include bookbinding, clay, drama, wood working, eurythmy, painting independent study, textiles, honors program, stone carving, graphics, drafting, and architectural drawing. Physical education and computer education are also an important aspect of twelfth grade.

This curriculum was drawn from Waldorf Education: A Family Guide. There are so many interesting aspects of each and every grade, I am so excited to start taking my child there. We are remotely debating the possibility of sending our 5th grader, in hopes this will do him and his behavior some good. Nurturing and a sense of warmth, as well as a highly stimulating environment is what he needs. But we are definitely wanting to send our preschooler when he starts in Kindergarten and 12 month old and perhaps our last addition to the family.....well, that is a little far out to be planning.

We are finally going to be making the move. We will actually be moving about 10 minutes up the mountain, away from the rolling hills filled with large oak trees and to the vast deepness of the tall pines. This house is tucked way in at the end of it's street and only 4 minutes from the freeway. The entrance itself is virtually unseen from the road and the drive in is narrow and shady from the towering trees all around. As the driveway curves, it opens up to a really large black top area and the 2-car garage and house just beyond (this is the first time we have ever had a real garage...yeah!). To the right is a huge log-built carport that could easily house a large RV and a car with a boat attached to the back.... or spaciously park 4 cars underneath. To the left of the generously paved area is the beginning of an expansive treed forest, which expands also down the back of the house. Over there is an unfenced 50 acres, not to mention the 1.3 acres of the property itself. Talk about exploration and hiking! The home has a back deck that is fully covered, and it has a panoramic view of the forest just beyond the open area down below for the kids to run around and roll and play soccer and...

In the front, there is a mini-deck walkway to the front door that we are going to line with bamboo because it has only a 1 and a half foot tall (I am guessing) railing that is asking for someone to trip on it. Inside the doorway is the dining space with pergo flooring(once again, guessing) with the beige-carpeted living room opening at an angle at about 1:00 (directionally speaking) if you are standing at the doorway, where you can completely see the large sliding glass door and the deck and forest beyond. At about 11:00, there is an angled doorway(or archway) where the guest bathroom and the bedrooms (and master bath and walk in closet) are down the hall. To the right, is the opening of the dining area and the kitchen that has newer wooden cabinets and nice appliances (this is cool because we currently have a home with particle board cabinetry, 70's yellow linoleum, and a dishwasher that doesn't work for crap). There is a large pantry and of course the door to the garage. There is not a laundry room in this home, but our last home has a laundry room that is the only house link to the back deck, and furthermore we didn't have a garage. So, having a house with a garage and laundry hookups, without a laundry room works for me..and having a normal slider to the back deck works for me, too.

Anyway, we are pretty excited and half of the house junk is packed. The carport-turned-to-a-garage is going to be the challenge because there are endless building materials, tools, car crap..... We will be moving this weekend and luckily our friend and her husband will be coming to help us out (hey, we need a babysitter and some more muscle power). Let's now just cross our fingers to ensure it won't snow up there this weekend....

Get Involved (Kids and Adults Alike)

Here is a small list of how both adults and their children can participate in giving back to our local and global communities, animals and the environment. This is but a short sample coming from off the top of my head, but there are so many ways of helping out. See if you can find at least one or two things on the list, or an expanded version of your own, that you can do in the near future. The more you give, especially without thanks, the better you feel.

1. Join a local cleanup
2. Donate money to an organization.
3. Walk/run/bike for a cause.
4. Plant trees.
5. Spread wildflower seeds in barren areas.
6. Pick up litter when you see it.
7. Help at a local homeless shelter.
8. Help at a woman's shelter.
9. Help at a wildlife refuge or animal shelter.
10. Landscape a simple and self-sustaining front yard of an old person in need.
11. Donate food to a food bank.
12. Donate your used stuff.
13. Write a letter or an email to local or federal govt. about an issue of concern.
14. Help out at a disaster zone (maybe not with children).
15. Adopt an animal(s).
16. Back off of the water usage. Don't take imbibeable freshwater for granted - it's less than 1% of the Earth's aqua.
17. Compost your leftover food and trimmings.
18. Recycle.
19. Start a garden.
20. Support local farmers.
21. Teach young kids how to care for the environment.
22. Stop buying from places with products mainly from China, like WalMart.
23. Put on a performance for the elderly at an old folks home.
24. Buy a homeless person a thick blanket or dinner (and I don't mean McDonald's crap).
25. If you're awesome enough(I am not), foster or even adopt a child. There are many in need.
26. Stay updated on the latest, from reliable sources, so you know where to stand on issues.
27. Help someone out in public if they could clearly use it.
28. If you can, (I have a fantasy about this, but can't cuz the kids) go to a third world country and help build homes or help distribute food to the starving. This is awesome...
29. Preseve energy - don't have anything plugged in or operating unless necessary at that moment.
30. Paint a mural on an ugly wall in an ugly area. Sort of gives a sense of hope.



There are so many other ways to help this world around us and the world beyond our senses (like we can't possibly fathom what it would be like to live in Ethiopia or Iraq, for instance). So pitch in. Compose your own list of ideas for the future and things with which you already partake. Feel very free to jot down more of your ideas or personal goals in the comments, we would love to hear new ideas or what you are doing to help our Earth as a whole, even on the smallest scale. Every little bit truly helps.

Living Simply: My Top 5

When I say I want to live simply, it's not just a statement, it's actually a brand of thinking and lifestyle. Living simply can be covered eloquently by Henry David Thoreau or laid out plainly by Buddha, and in this day and age it means a whole lot more because there is so much to fight against, societally speaking. It is sort of an anti-consumerist, pro-environmentalist, non-superficial, and no-stress approach to life. This is hard to attain if we are trapped in the cycle of thinking we are what we have. Even with a large family, we can live "richly" and very satisfied with only one income and such an unstable economy. There are endless ways to make your life simpler and less stressful, thus happier. One way to simplify is to start by jotting down the top 5 most important aspects of your life. This was hard for me to be incredibly specific, so I created a more general response to this list and realized this was pretty complete. Everyone's list will be different and unique. Here's mine:

1. Family - The number one focus in my life is my family, namely my husband and children. No matter what else is going on externally, or internally for that matter, they are always first. When you give unconditional love, you actually feel better about yourself and have more love to give naturally. It's a lovely domino effect. There is nothing more beautiful than watching your children bloom from their tender beginning into what they will gradually continue becoming as they ripen and evolve. There is also such beauty in nurturing a long-term relationship between 2 lovers, riding the waves of life's everychanging flow, especially when you share the gift of life together. I can go out and experience so much still, simply by taking my family along with me.

2. Gardening/Nature -This is the second most important thing (probably tied with#3) because this in itself is a celebration of life. Gardening is giving birth to plantlife and food that will then nurture us when eaten. It is keeping humans in touch with nature, the earth, outdoors, fresh air... It creates a healthier person to garden and/or expose onself to nature both physically and mentally, thus more spiritually. Eating organically gardened food obviously promotes physical health, as does being out in nature or in the garden, getting exercise. These also both calm the mind and create a clarity with onself or one's God. We strive to live on an acre of beautiful nature surrounding us, with area to also plant a vegetable garden. It is also much healthier for children to grow up in an environment that involves these components.

3. Yoga/Physical Activity - As mentioned before, this element of my life is equally as important as #2. Yoga is a balanced way to optimize physical and mental health, core strength, and life-changing flexibility and control. I am also one to find the answers from within myself, and yoga enhances this pursuit greatly. Staying active is a wonderful aspect of my life. This includes, dancing, walking on the treadmill, nature hikes, running, playing with the kids.... This is what our body is made for, not to sit around like slugs all the time.

4. Making a Difference - We want to make a difference environmentally and politically, locally and on a global level... We have been donating money for many years to many organizations from saving tibet, to doctors without borders, to nrdc, to save the redwoods, to arbor day foundation to ..... this is only to name a few. We have never been well-off, but still we found some way to support them because we knew of the vast importance. We have been to rally's and signed numerous petitions and sent many letters to officials and tried to spread the word on a number of issues, from McCain/Palin to 9/11 to George W..... We have supported local farmers, we hardly buy things new, we tread lightly on the earth. In fact, we are a family of 5 and still growing, but I guarentee that our family treads more lightly on the earth than most family's of 3 or 4!

5. Creativity - This is quite a broad category because as life progresses, so do people's interests. I was knitting like crazy when I was pregnant with our 3rd son, but now I haven't much time for this as my brain has shifted to other stuff. I love writing (obviously), knitting, sewing, reading, art, dance, drama, music, singing, anything else I can't think of at the moment or that which I haven't yet discovered. Plus, my children demand the opening of a whole different realm of creativity based on individuality and everchanging age. Creativity is very satisfying and soul-reaching. People have lost touch with this as technology and consumerism has prevailed over time.

Compose a list of your top 5, it's a really fun and simple way to put life into perspective.


Namaste

Moving Can Be Very Exciting!

Well, life definitely transform as we drift through it's wavy waters, sometimes soft and serene, sometimes torrentially. It is also in how we percieve the situation at hand. Sometimes negatives do lead to positives that otherwise could not be reached without having undergone the preceding negative.... Actually, I am not really talking about anything specific and horrible at this point in my life, just a little stirring of the waters.

Our landlord comes to us and tells us that his refinancing thing isn't going to work out and that he will have to put it on the market, but not to worry. Okay, dejavu! Our awesome landlords from years ago told us that they would only pick a buyer who would comply with keeping us on as renters when they had no choice but to sell their home. They were serious because they that was our home regardless of ownership. Well, they got someone to comply alright. So, they signed the deal, and Bam! We were told to hit the road. So, we ended up trapped into finding a small, less than mediocre home in the heart of snow hardship! Essentially, I don't really trust the selling owner's word when he and his realtor tell me there is nothing to worry about. Sure, they have good intentions..perhaps...but I am not getting stuck again.

We really like the location of our home and Luke's school nearby, but it is also sort of a hastle. I have hand-washed dishes for the last 2 years for a family of 4/5 people because the dishwasher sucks, we have a leak under the carpet in the master bedroom (luckily no mold issues, yet) and some seeping of water in the ceiling of the bathroom, and the cabinets are all crappy particle board, and the list goes on....It is slightly embarassing and is not too far removed from the appearance of originally being a white trash home (though we keep it nice clean and decorated with plants and cool stuff). There are nice things, though, like the property surrounding is fabulous, and the deck is killer, and I don't have to worry about the children outside....

Ultimately, we wanted to wait for Daniel to get established at a new job before buying a home because he is unofficially working and on unemployment. But, now we don't really want to wait anymore and we truly can't buy a home without a job to show for. So, we have decided to seriously consider renting another home that is better for just as cheap because the market is way lower than 3 years ago when we rented our current home. There is an awesome deal that I won't elaborate on now because I don't want to hex myself and get overly excited over something that could potentially let me down. Basically, we went to see a bigger home in a really cool spot with better features than we have now. If this is something that is a definite, I will report back with more detail. Otherwise, I will keep a lookout.

I love this, though. I am not stressed about moving at all. I feel so organized already, that it will be a simple process of boxing everything up, carrying heavy stuff and light, and that's it. Get a big UHaul and call it a day or two (with a little hopeful babysitting help from a grandparent or something). This is one of those waves that is exciting and for the better as a result of a slightly more negative wave. The only person that it will really affect is Luke, he is really happy at his school :o( . Oh well, he will adapt and rise up. He always does.

Namaste

Family Island Yoga Retreats

I am so giddy right now. I got this idea to look up family yoga retreats (because the likelihood of me being able to leave my family for a week is about the equivalent of pigs flying) and I found one that made me want to sink into the sandy beach of Hawaii forever! The funniest part is that it is still a fantasy for me cuz money is a joke right now and I have a near-10-month-old! Freedom like this is currently not an option, but fun to think about for the future. Below, I didn't write this myself, but I had to post it because it is perfectly written in its description of family yoga island retreats.



"Sivananda Yoga Retreat, Paradise Island, Bahamas
THE VIBE No meat, no salt, no caffeine, no breaking the strict schedule: meditation at 6 a.m., yoga at 8, brunch at 10, yoga at 4 p.m., dinner at 6, meditation at 8. Repeat.
THE SETTING An enclave of brightly painted cabins, gardens, and picnic tables between a bay and a white-sand beach.
WHERE YOU SLEEP In Om Sweet Om or one of the other 53 cabins. (Warning: no private baths.)
THE YOGA Sivananda's set series of postures rarely strays into leg-behind-the-head territory, so the yoga-curious need not be intimidated.
ESPECIALLY FOR FAMILIES Though there are no kids' programs, and no babysitters, youngsters of all ages can (and do) join parents at yoga and meditation classes.
BEYOND YOGA Play on the beach or the basketball and tennis courts; escape a half-mile down the shore to the Atlantis Resort for a cheeseburger fix and a go on the 60-foot Mayan-temple slide. (242/363-2902; www.sivananda.org/nassau; from $79 per adult, including meals, yoga classes, and meditation sessions; children under 12 half-price; children under three free.)


Kalani Retreat, Big Island, Hawaii
THE VIBE Sleep late, eat well—there are no yoga classes before 8:30 a.m., and the menu includes pizza and seared ahi with pineapple salsa.
THE SETTING A black-sand beach with Olympic- and kid-sized pools on the island's southeast coast.
WHERE YOU SLEEP In a cottage or a room in one of the four lodges.
THE YOGA Hatha, a classic style that focuses on breathing. Kalani's private introduction to yoga is perfect for shy beginners.
ESPECIALLY FOR FAMILIES During weeklong Family Experience sessions (July 10-September 30), kids 5 to 15 devote four hours a day to yoga and meditation, along with volleyball, swimming, and pottery, while their parents attend workshops and have Thai massages or craniosacral therapy. The rest of the year, kids join in yoga classes.
BEYOND YOGA Go swimming—and try to spy spinner dolphins—at the retreat's beach; hike the Waipio Valley; and get close to the lava tubes of Kilanea, an active volcano. The Kalani will take care of excursion details. (800/800-6886; www.kalani.com; from $135 per adult; children ages 3 to 12 $40; children under three free.)


Resort Yoga
All the vacation frills, plus a daily dose of serious stretching.
Caneel Bay, St. John, U.S. Virgin Islands
THE VIBE The Kennedy Compound goes tropical.
THE SETTING A 170-acre, 166-room resort with seven secluded beaches.
WHERE YOU SLEEP In beachside cottages or double rooms.
THE YOGA The resort's wellness-focused Self Centre offers everything from Vinyasa, a vigorous flowing style, to "yoga in a chair."
ESPECIALLY FOR FAMILIES An all-day children's program (ages 3 to 12) and on-call babysitters (for ages three and under) guarantee uninterrupted yoga time for parents—plus some optional stretching for kids.
BEYOND YOGA There's on-site scuba diving, sailing, fishing, and windsurfing. And the island, largely national parkland, has superb snorkeling, horseback riding, and hiking. (340/776-6111; www.rosewoodhotels.com; doubles from $375; one child under 16 free, additional child under five free; children's program $65 per day.)"

Gardening Links for 2009

Last year was the first official year Daniel and I dove into gardening. We were previously reluctant in years before because we rent, but we decided the benefits of having a garden overrode the loss of it if we were to buy a home in the upcoming year. We saved lots of money at the farmers market and we discovered so many new vegetables and fruits that we never even knew of in our wildest dreams. Gardening was fun, meditative, a great learning experience for both us and the kids, kept us in touch with nature, and gave us a plethora of good produce and herbs to from which to choose. If you are interested in gardening, here is a list of some great websites:



www.seedsavers.org/

www.squarefootgardening.com/

www.seedsofchange.com/

www.heirloomseeds.com/

www.greenpeople.org/

www.organicgardening.com/


Let me know what you think :o)



*~Groovy Gardening~*

Benefits of Yoga for Kids

Here are 6 Reasons I find Yoga to be very beneficial for kids. I have seen so much improvement in my own children and our quality of life has also improved as a result. They can carry this knowledge with them throughout their life and continue to expand on it as the years pass.

1. Increases Flexibility - This is one of the most obvious consequences for both children and adults. The more you stretch, the more you will find space throughout your body. I notice my kids constantly flipping and twisting, among many other bodily movements, and when they are flexible, it helps them to keep their body more limber and intact. This way, they don't get hurt as easily and they are much more graceful.

2. Stretches the Imagination - Yoga is not only a body opener, it opens the mind as well. Actually, that was its original intent. My childrens' minds go from foggy and scatter-brained to more open-minded and clear-headed. They are exploring both the quiet of their mind and the fascinating poses. Many of the poses are simulating animals and inanimate objects they are familiar with: tree, mountain, cat, dog, cobra, butterfly, froggy... This can be pretty fun.

3. Improves Focus and Concentration - In addition to the expansion of their imagination, yoga stimulates their minds by increasing their ability to be present in the moment and attain a practiced focus, which is inevitabley found when doing yoga asanas. My oldest son had a lot of problems here, but since we have been practicing yoga and meditation with him, he is able to sit still and ground his body and mind much better. It has also improved his listening and remember skills. This worked wonders when years of everything else didn't work.

4. Expands Learning and Self-Discipline - As my son's listening skills have improved, his ability to learn and absorb everything has greatly improved, as well. He also exhibits much more initiative and responsibility in his decision-making skills. When a child is in tuned with his/her body and thus mind, they are much more in tune with outside stimulus and their own balanced perception of things.

5. Experiences Fun and Self-Awareness in a non-competitive way - Yoga is a self-challenge to constantly search for new space in both the body and mind. It does not pose a competition with others and it does not pose a competition with oneself. It's about surrendering to what this body feels and does, not fighting against it. There's no pressure, so it's really fun, especially for a blooming little mind. Self-awareness comes as children explore themselves with focus and openness. My son had a really hard time with flopping around and not really being aware of where he should be. However, over time yoga has helped him to steady his inner core and sense of balance. He is much more controlled with his movements and conscious of his actions.

6. Bridges a connection to Mother Nature - A lot of yoga brings you back to things like "rooting into the ground like a tree," "reaching for the sky," "sun salutation," "let any tension sink back into the earth," "breathin fresh air," "lotus comes from the muddiest of bogs".... catch my drift. There is a lot of visualization and connective tissue with nature in yoga. It's even cooler if you can even go out in the backyard and do it barefoot on the lawn; that would be ultimate.

Try it out. We love it. You might too. :o)

Namaste

Buddhist Eight-Fold Path & Parenting: An Interpretation

Wisdom:

1. Right View – This means to see things as they are with full understanding. It also encompasses the 4 Noble Truths: Life is suffering, the root of all suffering is our attachment, the cessation of suffering is possible, and there is a path you can gradually take to end such suffering. If we are on our own way to understanding this, we can begin living happily and free from expectation. We can use this aspect of the eight-fold path to our advantage with our children. They will do everything possible to seemingly drive us crazy and throw a wrench in everything we would like to do. So, if we understand where they are coming from, where they are at in life, & perhaps what they truly need at the moment, we will alleviate ourselves from the constant irritation of the children. Also, if we really understand that there will be sleepless nights and temper tantrums at the store and sibling rivalry and bad choices to be made, then we can better-prepare ourselves for the unwanted. If we know there’ll be suffering, we can accept it and work through it more efficiently and with piece of mind. This is not so easy to implement at all times, but it’s a practice, a work in progress. Both parents and children are happier and freer.

2. Right Intention – This is a more cognitive aspect of the path, as opposed to the previous more intuitive approach. Right intention obviously means using your logic to make ethical choices and to continue improving yourself. This includes remaining harmless, both mentally and physically, and steering clear of desire, which leads to suffering. I think this is mainly related to mothering in that we should all act on the basis of our love for our children and on what is their best interest, not our own. Keeping our anger out of picture is key. Anger is an emotional response to our own desire to hear silence or to be listened to or to have an uninterrupted moment to actually complete something of our own… Here is where we use our left-brain and remind ourselves that it isn’t always going to be to our liking and if we keep a clear head, we can be loving and true with ourselves and our little ones (and not so little ones).


Conduct:

3. Right Speech – This involves speaking truthfully, speaking nicely about others, speaking nicely to others, speaking with purpose and depth. The simple act of doing all of this around your children will rub off on them intensely and they will grow to do the same to all other people. When speaking honestly, we are being real with ourselves and our children. And as we speak well about our children, we will set ourselves up for positive thoughts of them. When we speak to them of other people, they will learn to not pass judgment. As we speak to them with kindness, they too will reciprocate this. When we only speak of things that matter we fill their minds full of knowledge and wisdom.

4. Right Action – This comes back to not harming others and also includes not being deceitful to others. When you display a compassion for others’ feelings, whether it’s humans, animals, or plant life (or even inanimate objects – it’s good to show some respect to them, too), your kids will be enveloped by such action and strive to do the same naturally and effortlessly as they continue through to adulthood. When you treat your children directly without harm, they will become confident and full of self-worth. Besides, words are strong, but actions speak louder than words. They are more likely to model your behavior than what you instruct them to do.

5. Right Livelihood – This one is a tougher one to relate to raising children. Right livelihood refers to making your living “righteously.” Basically, you can do anything as long as it doesn’t violate the principles of right speech and right action. As long as you aren’t doing something to harm or violate others in your profession or to be an accessory therein, then you are going the right path. Your children can and will develop an understanding and an interest in what you do for a living, so it is important to set the example you want your children to follow. Remember, what you do affects them far more greatly than what you tell them to do, despite the example you set.


Mental:

6. Right Effort – This falls into each separate category because, without the putting forth of effort, nothing else can be attained. Wanting to follow the eightfold path without any effort leaves one with an unfulfilled desire. On the flipside, making effort in the wrong direction is equally as distracting. Fundamentally, this means to try and prevent icky states of being, to abandon any icky states of being that have arisen, to bring forth pleasant states of being, and to continue to maintain such pleasant states of being. Obviously, good and not-so-good feelings will arise dealing with children and making choices for them. Best bet is to move through the current of these feelings and open yourself to a more conscious level of decision-making when dealing with your kids. Right effort will be part of our daily lives by following all other components of the eightfold path. It will not only help you in guiding your children; it will also teach your children indirectly to do things in life with intention and a sense of purpose.

7. Right Mindfulness – This is the mental ability to see things as they truly are, with clear consciousness and without getting carried away by perception. This is the act of contemplating the body, our feelings, our state of mind, and other phenomena. We can be mindful with our children in many ways. Being fully conscious of our body is the first step in being able to function fully and properly when dealing with our children. If we fail to take care of ourselves, we will fail to take care of others. We must listen to our own body’s needs as they arise. We must be mindful of our feelings, too, because emotions can carry us as far away from mindfulness as anything can. We will have a natural rise and fall of emotions and impressions, especially when dealing with our spirited little ones, but we must be willing process these feelings and transform them, so our actions can remain unclouded. Thus, our state of mind remains clear and free of negative perception when dealing with the often-perceived “unwanted” roller coaster of raising kids. Everything we do and say and think should be with clarity and thought, though none of us are perfect when dealing with our families, but we should strive for this more and more every day.

8. Right Concentration – This is similar to mindfulness in that it refers to developing a mental force that is used when making choices in life. This surrounds an ability to put full consciousness into one thing at a given time. This can be practiced in meditation and in many other ways. With children, I think we need to show them they are completely the most important person at any given time. I don’t mean to allow them to feel as though the world revolves around them. I simply mean to give them the time of day, fully. So often we are busy washing dishes and making phone calls and running off to work quickly as we drop them off at school. Why not stop the dishes for a couple of moments to turn and fully engage with them as they show off their scribbled artwork? Why not hang up the phone and go have a little conversation with your child about their day? Why not look them in the eye and really connect with them just before they embark upon their day without you at school, so they can be left with a sense of love and importance? Giving your children your full concentration will teach them to be present in every moment and help them bloom with self-confidence.


It’s hard. I know it is for me. But, whether you are Buddhist or Christian or Atheist or anything else under the sun, these are all wonderful ways of being that will not only help us in parenting, but also in every aspect of our life. That is the cool thing about Buddhism – there is just a lot of common sense to follow. Take what you will. I still have lots of work myself (we all do), but I still must remember that parenting, Buddhism, and life itself are all part of the journey. It is best to stop trying to reach a desired destination. Every day is a new day of refined practice.

Namaste

Feng Shui and Having Young Children

When you have small children, keeping your home as you would like isn't always an option. Between the chaos and the accumulation of stuff, it is hard to clear your environment and subsequently your mind. Figuring out how to maintain the Feng Shui of your home around the obstacle of children will calm your mind as a parent and as a person needing a comfortable personal space, and create a happy and optimal environment for your kids to learn and grow.

The first thing I have found to be most helpful is to get rid of a bunch of stuff. I used the typical 4-box or -bag system: To Keep, To Toss, To Donate, To Recycle. Everything I keep has a "home" which is simply a place where it should always be kept. I was very unattached when I first did this, so we ended up getting rid of about 40% of our stuff. How cleansing it felt! We easily went to the dumps for big trash items and dropped the donate items at the thrift store and a local church. This process took a while, especially with the constant interruptions of our children, but it was essentially very easy. Also, I would recommend purging every now and then, like every 3-6 months because we slowly start accumulating more and more junk over a period of time. Paper overflow and toy overflow has been a problem in our house in the past. I'll go more into that in a moment. Either way, it's good to maintain having less stuff. If you have less, there is less to pick up, less to cloud your space, and less to cloud your mind. The less you own, the better you will keep track of what you own and where it is all located. As for your kids, they will be able to see their choices of toys more easily, be able to concentrate better, and learn essential cleanup skills without being overwhelmed.

Secondly, my next focus would be how to manipulate everything for best placement and storage. This will be different for everyone depending upon their home, their family, their personality, their preferences...

We are actually still developing just the right essence for our home (well, it is everchanging anyway), but we have it about where we want it while living in our current 2-bedroom home. We decided our book shelves and office setup should go in the master bedroom next to eachother beneath 3 long wooden shelves filled with VHS tapes, mainly family movies. We didn't want to have to look at tapes in our living/dining room, so they go nicely with the office theme. We also wanted our office to be refuge away from the activities of the rest of the house; plus, the little one don't need access to the computer and all the wiring. The rest of the bedroom has attractive wooden dressers and a large bed with a muted earthy tone. A few pictures are up, not too many and the surfaces and floor of the room are usually free from too many things. The cake-topper of the room is the deeper-muted colors on the walls, especially on the office-filled wall. The tapes blend in more and the low lighting of the room gives the color it's warm inviting feeling, especially against all the wooden furniture. And, though it is a small room, we have ensured an open walkway from the entrance as an L spanning out on 2 adjacent sides of the bed. It works beautifully for us, since we had tried it many other ways.

We found our living room to be the greatest challenge, though. Our living room/dining room is an L shape and there is a big woodstove area on one of the 2 outer walls. We bought a large dusty greenish-grey sectional couch because it is large enough for a family of 5, it's big and cozy, it's earthy toned, and its soft looking and attractive. It is also very easy to take care of and maintain it's newer look (this is great with young little thrashers). To me, the couch is the center piece you draw from when decorating and setting up your living room (We also decided to paint the room in a soft earth tone, too, to bring comfort and openness). We have but only one place it fits in the living room, which is great because you are in a corner with a couple walls behind you, facing the rest of the entire room where the traffic and activity are happening. The L of the room is only because there is a "pillar" which is the coat closet and the pantry of the kitchen. Therefore, there is a small wall across from the couch, where we built a deep shelf over the flat screen to put all of the electronics together out of reach of little hands. Our flatscreen is nice and narrow perched on a small entertainment center filled with puzzles the kids can access any time. The narrowness of the TV setup decongests the front entrance, as well.

Next to the couch are two large speakers on either side (we use them as if they were end tables) and an attractive wicker shoe basket (it keeps our many shoes completely out of the way and neat). At the other end of the couch, next to the other speaker, is a small wooden bookshelf beneath the window sill with a variety of childrens' books. Next to that on the adjacent wall is another small earthy-toned couch in the corner with a wooden shelf uptop with a bunch of colorful tumbling play mats. This couch is mainly for the kids to have their own little comfy space, while still being able to look out at the entire span of the room (including the TV), plus some of the kitchen. It also gives them a sense of enclosure due to the KidCo gate we have around the woodstove right near it.

The other side of the woodstove is along the same wall as the little couch, but considered to be the dining room area. This area we have designated to be the younger kids' play storage area, since we don't feel we need a dining room and we have but only one other bedroom, which is designated for our oldest son. So, next to the woodstove and into the adjacent wall are a series of different wooden shelves and an open long cabinet spanning along the entire wall, all at floor level. These are all neatly lined with all tons of bins and wooden crates that are filled with everything from legos to wooden trains to Lincoln Logs to wooden play food to soft blocks to "guys" to more floor puzzles and games to..... On top of the shelf under the window is a large wooden Jungle Animal Hospital, which looks really cool with the back draw of the bamboo shade on the window. On top of the long cabinet are some baskets filled with other toys, like wooden beads and music stuff, and the wooden puzzles are neatly placed together. Just above this is another wooden cabinet suspended in the corner of the 2 walls (We left the doors on this one). It is a great storage for workbooks, coloring stuff, arts and crafts that shouldn't be within reach, and movies directly related to the younger age groups. We also have 2 medium-sized storage bins. The one with a lid is where the kids neatly stuff their dressup attire and the other one without a lid is where they throw their stuffed animals.

Cleanup is always a zip because everything has its home and it is nice because it is not overstuffed when everything is put where should go. Often there are toys spread out, but we encourage the kids to clean up the contents of the last few bins they unloaded before pulling out any more. Even if 8 bins-worth of toys are spread out everywhere and are all mixed together, I have peice of mind that if I am stuck cleaning it up, it won't take any more than about 5 minutes, and if I have my 3-year-old pick it up, it shouldn't take any more than 15 minutes because it is such a simple process of putting things into like categories. With kids, nothing ever stays perfectly clean, especially because half the time everything is spread out because they're playing with it. But, the less you have and the more efficientlyyou set it up will promote the decluttered, organized, open look and feel of your home and your lifestyle. You can worry less about your blocked Chi and more about your family and yourself. There are so many more aspects and inspirations I can touch on (like paper clutter that I mentioned earlier), but I will have to save that for another time.....I have to get back to the kids.

Namaste